Never good enough

Never ceasing to fail

Getting shunned by my parents

Cast away by my friends

 

No one seems to want to help

I’m alone to face this darkness alone

I lose my way in the kush

Get lost in the sauce

 

Nothing helps

After awhile, even the drugs lose their touch

I roll over in my sleep

What little comes my way

 

Wake up,

Feeling more distraught than before

The only release is the flow of words

The words that morph into verses

 

And the verses turn into a map of emotions

Emotions that I don’t even get

Sometimes I want to leave it all

Sleep and never wake up

 

But that relief is just a dream

A dream I’d love to pursue

Am I too scared to let go?

Or just brave enough to hold on?

 

Happy faces, happy smiles

I put them on to keep people from seeing

Seeing I’m broken

Broken beyond repair

 

Maybe the best thing to do is go

Go to where I won’t be found

Hide away all the pain

Keep it put locked up

 

There are many solutions

But they just won’t click

I need this pain to leave

I just want to be whole again