electricity
my hand is pulsing with energy
my heart is pumping maybe
too fast
and im afraid to walk out the wrong door as the dragon and her keeper wait
im afraid with her as she faces wolves that disguise as parents and runs for her life
im afraid for them as they spend a weekend in a cabin with family they despise
im afraid for 'the one with the highlights' for the lack of connection due to a vulture she calls me mom
im afraid for that group of kids because you know they will say the wrong thing at the wrong time just like you know theyll get hurt
im afraid for the bent up dust covers behind my shelves
im afraid for the tune stuck in my head ill never remember the name of
i am afraid of so much
and that anxiety rolls off my mind
and body
like steam collects itself into my hands
and electricity arcs off my fingers and nails
and even that blood blister to far under my skin to reach
and it begs to be disposed of
and i won't give it to someone else
Cause my friends are tired of my constant venting
and my mom says it's just nerves
you don't tell dad and less you want to debate the universe
The teachers aren't trustworthy
and it's too close to the beginning of the school year to understand that inexplicable anxiety in art class
is it because of the music teacher lady puts on to keep us quiet
Is it the newer girl beside you
Is it that you're in that corner of the ocean of desks that could be cut out so quickly
like california after the earthquake
from the rest of the land
or is it the energy and your shaky hands and maybe pumping maybe too fast heartbeat