electricity

my hand is pulsing with energy

my heart is pumping maybe

too fast

and im afraid to walk out the wrong door as the dragon and her keeper wait

im afraid with her as she faces wolves that disguise as parents and runs for her life

im afraid for them as they spend a weekend in a cabin with family they despise

im afraid for 'the one with the highlights' for the lack of connection due to a vulture she calls me mom

im afraid for that group of kids because you know they will say the wrong thing at the wrong time just like you know theyll get hurt 

im afraid for the bent up dust covers behind my shelves

im afraid for the tune stuck in my head ill never remember the name of

i am afraid of so much

and that anxiety rolls off my mind

and body

like steam collects itself into my hands

and electricity arcs off my fingers and nails

and even that blood blister to far under my skin to reach

and it begs to be disposed of

and i won't give it to someone else

Cause my friends are tired of my constant venting 

and my mom says it's just nerves

you don't tell dad and less you want to debate the universe

The teachers aren't trustworthy

and it's too close to the beginning of the school year to understand that inexplicable anxiety in art class

is it because of the music teacher lady puts on to keep us quiet

Is it the newer girl beside you

Is it that you're in that corner of the ocean of desks that could be cut out so quickly

like california after the earthquake

from the rest of the land

or is it the energy and your shaky hands and maybe pumping maybe too fast heartbeat 

This poem is about: 
Me

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