“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness.” – Allen Ginsberg
I heard the meaning of sound
become no more significant than the words spoken into it,
saw the library building
become an empty abandoned warehouse
of which no one knew the location
much less spent any time in.
I saw Ginsberg
after the poetry had left our minds,
watched his ideas die
like the stars faded into the Sun City lights.
And I saw the famous Sun City
mold or melt
into crowded streets of violence
where a bad enough argument
ended with a bang, a gun.
and to them,
that was fun.
I saw the laughter of pleasantries
turn into screams of pain,
and I saw children born of children,
baby falling from child womb
again and again and again…
I watched the poetry forgotten
and words burned from the pages
of the souls of our fellow
Gentlemen Junkie artists of rage.
And I howled
for the deaths of the recognition
of the hero beatniks
of my generation.
I stood on the mountainside
and watched the divide
destroy my child mind,
with its shootings,
and forced fucks
as well as those given away by people my age
just to gain a quick buck.
I saw kids sitting on their ass in class
on their phones
laughing about the last bad joke
with not a worry in the world
while our dreams and friends go up in smoke.
I saw hearts stop
and bodies drop
at a party where everybody there
was too doped up to notice
not that they would’ve actually cared.
And I swore to never give in
to this life style development
but after so much of this
self-abused and over-used
way of life, on a frame of time,
I became what I swore I’d never become
did things I never would’ve done
with the influence of my Sun City.
My Chuco Town, my love, my drug,
my home where I would never be alone.
I betrayed you for my lies and highs
and soggy stares at a people gone bad
through my over-intoxicated eyes
and I realized
that I was becoming just another piece
of my age of wealth gone awry.
But I could never blame my Sun City,
my generation or the times
for making my quicker than heaven
drag me even faster to hell
but let me tell you…
I saw the smartest people I knew
become the maddest people I knew.
I saw child come from child,
love mold into hate,
death melt out of life.
and I watched people drag their sorry asses
back to those who caused them the most pain.
And did I learn my lesson?