Staring, staring

at the image I reluctantly

have to accept, the chubby cheeks,

double chin, the thick neck. Breasts growing

bigger with the fat intake, laughing

rolls forming under

my bust. Gut

protruding further then my hips,

Love handles, making my body personify an

awkward squash shape.Giggling thunder thighs

and wide calves. An endless battle against food,

It will always win.The attempt at diets, over ruled by the

constant consumption of dietary sin. Once, not so long ago,

I was so thin. Prominent cheek bones, slender chin and neck.

Body proportionate,Slender torso, no rolls to torment me with their

menacing laughs, mocking me with every glance.

Never ate, I didn’t need food. not even a tooth pick

would be thin enough a constant image of a chunky girl,

Longing to look like the girls in Cosmo magazine. 

I long to have that shape again, to really

feel comfortable in my own skin.

I hate how I look now,

longing to be

thinner, some

way, some

how.