Novel is the idea of group think and copious companions.
At first the experience enticed me, but later I came to see that there were punishments for being… “different”.
Children are not always properly taught or shown how to handle something that’s different than what they are used to.
It is not the fault of the parents, but more so the effects of a society unwilling to change, crippled by its stubbornness.
Unknown aspects of one’s individuality are shunned, and mocked.
How cruel can young children be?
Cruel enough to make you want to shout in frustration, but the only action your mind will allow is for you to run – run far away from those whose ignorance is greater than the distance they’ve pushed you away.
Harsh enough to leave you aching in bed where the thought of going to school curdles your stomach.
Crippling enough to render you numb: to the social ostracism, to the snide remarks behind your back, to the nasty notes in your locker, and to the sounds of snickering as you walk past.
As their oppressive actions continue, it’s hardly noticeable.
Sometimes I believe that subconsciously, I agree with the things they said.
“You’re so small.”
“Why are you so skinny?”
“She’s probably anorexic.”
Those words would swim through my head – originally in the voices of the individuals who said them… but slowly, the alien voices of my schoolmates began to sound closer and closer to my own voice.
The oppression changed over the years, as I did.
It was to the point where I sometimes caught myself in the position of the children from so long ago who looked at me in such a foreign manner.
I was once jealous of a friend and told her that she should gain more weight because guys don’t like girls who are too skinny.
Was I trying to be nice or insult her? I’ve often caught myself wondering that about a lot of things people say to me.
Snide comments like that have become more difficult to distinguish because they are so often clouded with statements like “I say this because I love you”… but why follow such a statement with less than complimenting words?
Under what rationale is it right to act the way we do?
Never… Rarely have I had a happy, or rather, positive conversation with another individual.
Conversation is often light and attempted to be teasing, but where’s the line between teasing and insulting?
It’s blurred, lost somewhere back in grade school when everyone was just themselves, and we only cared about making each other smile.
That line… is back when we weren’t competing with each other, when life was simpler.
Blurring the line has blurred behavior to the extent in which we’ve come to believe that bullying your friends, or insulting them, is alright because they’re already your friend.
We forget that bullying is still bullying, no matter who you do it to.