until towers of ice build to the fill-line of my veins

fighting this frozen tidal wave even though

ive already drowned but i cant 

remember the last time I really cried

not from pain (im numb to it all) but 

because I can’t handle the weight of the

water accumulating in these misshapen clouds

one whole year since I was that little girl

wrapped tight in her blankets

begging my brain to wake up and 

dig my way out of this cave

blinded by my tornado of problems watching them

whirl away until I finally realize

i still don’t know which was is up but

ripples still lay marks deep through my stomach and 

thighs as fire spreads across my cheeks but

i don’t need help or pity because

i am the princess in that perfect Disney 

dream house which my daddy handed to me 

on a silver platter along with my spilled milk 

that I must now sit and cry over because 

im just tired but really i think im done 

trying to stay above water but someday

ill look down on this world and remember 

when none of this really mattered because

im trying too hard to grow up too fast 

in a world made to tear me down to ash