Everybody talks about the Head Honchos -
The other ones, too.
The Head Honchos make the world go 'round. Without them, why, whatever would we do with ourselves?
Literally the exact same things. But maybe with fewer thunderstorms, earthquakes and famines.
See, my buddies and I have a nice little gig.
No world-endangering nemesis, in the grand scheme of things.
No life-altering miracles, if we’re looking at the big picture.
Our responsibilities aren’t major, but aren’t they, though?
All we do is look after our patrons, and they better themselves.
But they’d be helpless without us.
When these folks move into our area, we welcome them with open arms.
Potential and Hope sing a duet into their ears as they walk in and begin their unpacking process.
They dance around the halls, making the sun seem a bit brighter and the rooms a bit larger.
After the initial meeting, more of us put on our show.
As Potential and Hope sing their last notes, they hand the stage over to Expectation.
Admittedly, he's a little high-strung.
His drumline starts slow, then becomes a raging march, and they all try to keep in time.
Some are more successful than others.
The Opportunities begin to come down from the sky, raining upon our little visitors while the drum carries on.
Some are kind, and warm, and really aim to do good for their audience.
Others are just here for the hell of it.
Somewhere along the way, Tip-Top Shape begins to slouch a little, and Slobbiness waltzes in.
She's not always the most appreciated member of our little club.
Attraction and Chemistry aren’t too bad - they seem a bit finicky, but their intentions are good.
Throughout their say here, Exhaustion, Homesickness, and Sloth make their rounds. Nobody invites them, but they always show up.
Then, the worst of us comes around.
Nearly everyone on campus feels the pull of sweet, seductive Entropy.
Her song is low and slow, and she attracts her captive audience ever closer as she sings.
Why keep working when I could just skip my 8:00 AM and watch Sherlock all day?
I’m not going to take a shower today, because I’ve decided I’m not leaving my dorm today!
Meet new people? What are you, a masochist? No, I’ll just consume as much media created by the same eight people as I can before I lose consciousness tonight!
That’s where my sister and I step in.
She and I are kind of the Head Honchos of the campus. Everyone knows us, everyone loves us, and everyone is just a little afraid of our true power.
Ambition is beautiful.
You should see her in action.
She soars through the air, and her perfume lingers as she passes by each door and window.
Her eyes twinkle as she gently caresses each student’s dreams with a reminder:
You are here for a reason. You have a goal. You can achieve it.
She lifts the spirits of those who believe her, but then they look down at their very limited forms.
They need fuel! Ambition will be gone without a trace if we can’t find a way to keep up with her!
Then they reach for me.
I supercharge my disciples, restoring their health and their stamina.
I provide a surge of newfound energy to them, and they get to work, still hearing Ambition’s words in their ears as they throw back another gulp of Double Shot Espresso.
I, Caffeine, enhance their minds and their souls, just as they begin to succumb to the enticing lure of Entropy.
These are the ways of our domain.
We rule over these stressed little balls of the future, and although they face challenges along the way, I am proud to say that many of my worshippers have made incredible changes in the outside world.
We are Dorm Gods.