Maybe now I can finally say what is happening, instead of what i'm feeling.
My damned emotions have held me back, I just needed to tell someone what was happening.
Maybe someone will read this and understand, or they'll stop at the first sentence and turn back, but someone should know what is happening.
My mind goes back and forth, rattling all the way, I feel like a kingdom has come undone, 
There are boulder pulling chains attached to hooks, hooked through this soaking wet, thick as cankles, wool blanket, that is keeping me in my mind, limiting me, restricting me from forming relationships with the world and all it's souls. 
There are sounds, more like strange chimes, tones, hums, and long drawn out beeps that i can physically hear as i listen to a melody.
There are voices with the nastiest sailor's mouth that speak nothing but negativity of all sorts.
There are also voices, my voices, that speak in pictures and tunes but ultimately has nothing to say.
I feel like I'm deconstructing something that shouldn't be said.
There are random shots of pictures that sweep me off my feet, not with admiration or love, but with bewilderment and confusion. 
I'm never able to describe what I'm seeing as the words escape me constantly, nor am I able to draw what I'm seeing as it muddles itself in my mind and I'm paralyzed in confusion.