Do you even teach?


I’m sitting here,

Playing with my pencil,

Doodling on my paper;

You’re rambling on about nonsense,

The implicit derivative of some long equation.

I think I heard you say cosine?

Maybe a cubic function?

How do you even use quotient rule?

I’m lost, I give up,

I’ll teach myself.

You were never any help;

Your extra help is as bad as class time.

You may be smart; I’m not denying that,

But you’re socially awkward,

You can’t convey your thoughts to the class.

I wonder if we’re all thinking the same thing.

Psst! Hey, Ben, do you understand this?

Ben? Ben? Great he’s asleep,

Knocked out by the dull, monotone voice,

The voice of confusion,

The voice of constant problems,

The voice of the teacher.

A teacher is one who teaches, correct?

I think this school needs more of those.

Bio, Chem, Calc and History,

Just to name a few,

A few subjects that need new teachers,

If you can even call what’s there now a teacher.

Just a body to fill the requirement,

That’s all I see,

Congrats you got your PhD,

But can you actually teach me?

I’m not looking to be fed the answers,

But when you can’t even help me

Just to find an answer,

Solve a problem,

Or look at the right century,

That’s the stuff that bothers me!

  Don’t leave me in the dark,

Point me to the direction of the light.

I’ll find the way myself eventually,

A little help along the way maybe be nice,

Even periodically.

This is not the case,

Spinning me around until I’m dizzy,

Shoving me off in a random direction,

Feels about right.

Then I hit a wall.

I pick myself up,

Dust myself off,

Slam down the text book,

And waste away into the morning hours.

At least I can use quotient rule now.

Guide that inspired this poem: 


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