Divinity & Hell

Mellow smoothness, flowing down a river of peace and delightful bliss. The instant high of a sweet taste, sends my body levitating into a dimension created by my imagination. The warm smell is similar to that fiery and comfortable feeling like Christmas time. As soon as it hits my tongue, my senses heighten beyond the limits one might think is possible. A rush of adrenaline rides the waves of my veins, like a dragon riding the night air. This feeling, so intoxicating, so beautiful, like laying in clovers with arms outstretched to hug the sun that envelopes my being. It takes me to the other side, getting my glimpse of heaven for a fleeting moment, and then back to earth it sends me, making the craving rise higher, the wanting screaming louder. The temptation to indulge in more and more, no matter how risky this overdose may seem. A fit of rage increases in me if this fix can't be obtained, sustained, maintained. Eventually, an aching in my head is pulsating to the point I must find the nearest source for the yearning that is calling me in it's direction. I'm sickly infected by this disease of addiction. I love it in either form it appears. Solid or liquid, either way I'll get what I'm after, what I'm chasing, it'll never outrun me, because I'm always faster, always ten steps ahead, always planning and panning out the next occasion in when we shall meet. With money in hand, I run to my dealer. The pep in my step cracks the ground with anticipation as I anticipate receiving what I'm believing is something my body needs to rejuvenate. Upon my request, the money goes to the dealer as well as getting in return what I've been trying to patiently wait for. Home I walk, with a vengeance as if I'm out for trouble, pushing past all who stand in my path. Just a little longer, just a few more steps, a few more minutes, a few more seconds. FINALLY! I arrive at my destination. My next move is to seek isolation so I can show dedication to this wonderful drug that has crippled me with it's love/hate, push/pull tendencies. Opening it, it sits there staring at me. Looking to the sky, I ask God why. "Why can't I break this chain? Why do I love this one thing so much?" All the while, thanking God in the same breath. The aroma fills the house, but not a soul is bothered by you, you are mine, and I am yours, forever and a day. My love for you will never end, cause you are here to stay. To all who inquire what this sick drug is that captures me time and time again, it's a nine letter word that holds me hostage against my will, but at the same time, I don't mind cause at the same time, my will is free. It would only make sense if you were fighting the battle, in the struggle, in the same situation as me.....

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