Not much is said

to the girl sitting in the back of the room.

her wrists covered in drawings,

always prepared for every class.

 

She just sits in her desk,

always distracted

by the lights

sounds

daydreams.

She sits in the back of the class

observing it all.

 

Her calm demeanor

makes her go unnoticed

Most School Spirit.

She spends most of her time

painting,

participating,

texting.

She’s just a girl.

 

She has dreams,

aspirations,

goals.

Her final year of high school.

 

She doesn’t drink,

she doesn’t smoke,

she doesn’t take part in drugs.

She’s on the right path.

 

But behind those blue eyes,

that calm face,

those good grades,

behind that bright future,

She wishes only for death.

 

She has a job that pays well,

parents who love her dearly,

friends,

she is always there to help and teach.

 

She wants to become a photographer,

to travel the world,

to help the homeless,

but that is day.

 

After the sun sets,

after the last-minute cramming of homework,

she finally lays down in bed.

And contemplates her suicide.

 

Her family would miss her, true

as would her friends,

maybe the occasional acquaintance,

but it is only human nature to move on.

 

The thoughts swimming through her head

used to make her cry.

But they became so usual,

so naturally,

the tears eventually stopped.

 

Eventually the thoughts wormed their way into her day,

She tells her family,

friends,

they all become scared.

They reassure her that everything will be fine.

But buried under the mounds of stress

from school,

work,

disease,

The tunnel grows dim, the light begins to fade.

 

She realizes she can’t really talk to her family,

friends,

because they can’t really help.

 

As she drives to school,

she thinks about driving in front of a semi

or maybe a truck,

but hesitates when contemplating the other person.

They surely have family,

who is she to end the other’s life?

 

School.

Distractions.

She finds her death to be a comfort

from the stress.

Oh the never ending stress!

 

She wishes for death,

but death by sleep.

 

When I tuck Myself in at night,

I wish to never wake.

 

Sleep well, goodnight.