Hold my hand and walking me over there

Give me over and tell them what to do

I won’t fight, I promise

Don’t say goodbye, and don’t tell me you love me, just leave

I’ll find a way to go on

Let them strip me of all I have

My insecurities, my self-consciousness, my emotions

Even my dignity, the little endurance and self-control I had left within

I want them to put me in a hospital gown, a white one with blue polka dots

Tie my wrists together and put my hair in a ponytail

Then walk me through the halls of grown adults and teenagers, who are either sucking their thumb curled in ball or speaking to the walls

Let them open the door to my big spongy room and walk me in

Close the doors forever

Let me drown in my thoughts, let the guilt eat my soul, let me lay there empty and confused

Won’t be any different from when I was home

Let the voices in my head rage all at once and I’ll lay there, and cry and scream on the top of my lungs for you to come back and give me just a little bit of your heart

But you shouldn’t come back

You can’t, because I told you not to

This is where I belong

It isn’t your fault love, it’s all mine

And that’s because I am a deranged.

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