
Dear Younger Me, I hate you so much
I hated you
I did
You were loud and boisterous
you wanted to be beautiful
you wanted to be liked
your first day of school at a predominantly white elementary school
you looked for someone
Someone who looked like you
someone who looked like US
another black girl
you found her
you were excited
but she made it worse
she was friends with them
she was friends with everyone and you wanted to be her friend
but she was "black but not TOO BLACK"
you were "too black"
you were loud
so you quieted down
you were wild
so you relaxed
LITTLE black girl
I hated you because
you asked mom to blow-dry your hair every weekend
and she did
until there was less and less hair to blow-dry
you wanted to be beautiful
but you were still never enough
always LESS than them
you were too dark during the summer
and not light enough during the winter
you were worried you'd never fit in amongst white people
you hated your wide nose and wide hips
somedays you still do
you didn't grow out of your insecurities until you were old enough to reallize those insecurities were what made you BEAUTIFUL
you finally understood that less was MORE
and you were MORE
you were almost grown when you realized your beauty
you were scared you'd never find a boyfriend to make you feel infinitely beautiful
but You did
YOU DID
but he wasn't what you needed to be beautiful
all you had to do was realize how beautiful you were and love yourself and everyone else would follow
Don't worry little black girl
You became everything you ever wanted to be
You're strong
You're beautiful
You're powerful
You're Colorful
You're present
You're heard and your voice matters
People hear you
People respect you
People are proud of you
Little Black Girl
Trust me
Beautiful black girl has your back
I love you
I've loved for years it simply took time for you to realize it
you were so consumed with who thought you were LESS
you forgot you could ever be more
Thank you little black girl
You made me who I am today
Who we are today