Dear Josh

Sun, 02/04/2018 - 14:24 -- SoniaS

Dear Josh,

 

I know a goodbye is due

And I understand that you’re sad too.

But my heart is breaking at the seam,

I mean, I can’t bare to see you leave

Across the country without having to grieve.

 

Writing this I remember what made my spirit soar,

The things that made my heartbeat roar.

 

I remember kissing you and holding your hand

And the clock that you kept on your nightstand.

 

I remember watching shows together,

Holding my hand— no matter the weather—

You’d ask to hold the other one too

We couldn’t get enough of each other,

What else would we do?

 

Remember spending nights looking at stars?

Under blankets, staring through the darkness of my car.

 

Watching the ball drop on New Year’s Eve,

And kissing you at midnight before I had to leave.

 

I remember the times I got home after curfew

Not caring because I spent more time with you.

 

Coming to your house for the very first time

And the first time you stole my heart, what a crime.

 

I remember wearing your jacket and your hockey games,

And the t-shirts I asked for

With traces of shame.

 

Eating chicken nuggets in the parking lot

And sticking it out at semi even though it was hot.

 

I remember you telling me to cover my eyes

When we watched Netflix shows that gave me a rise.

 

Sitting on your kitchen countertop,

Watching you flip burgers on the stovetop,

I’ll miss making fish sticks and you learning piano.

It breaks my heart to see you go.

 

I hope you remember all these things too

I’m asking you now, please remember me—

I’ll surely remember you.

 

I want to thank you for showing me what it feels like to be loved,

You never manipulated, pushed, or shoved.

 

And everytime you kissed me I could see,

And everytime you wrapped your arms around me.

And when you smiled, and even through eye contact

I could feel the way our chemicals react.

 

I always feel it near you,

Without you, I feel I’ve left something behind, I really do,

It almost makes me lose my mind.

 

How much you mean to me, I can’t put into words

I wish there was a better way to make my feelings heard.

I love you with all my heart

And I’ll still love you after you’ve read this and we’re apart.

 

You’ve been through so much

Taking on my problems and your own and such.

And surely stronger than you give yourself credit for,

I couldn't ever ask for more.

 

I admire your resiliency and courage,

I really really do.

I hope you live life to the fullest

And enjoy every second too.

 

I’ll miss you,

Infact, I already do.

And I can’t help but wonder

If you’ll miss me too.

 

Love,

Sonia

 

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