My first love Wendell died on October 7, 2017. He died in his sleep. I feel lost, hurt, sad and broken. I didn't think my love would be leaving me so soon. I feel like I down played his sickness even though I knew he was fading away. I downplayed the love he had for me because I didn't think any man could love me the way my father loved my mother. Now I'm sitting here brokenhearted because I have so many regrets. The love I was looking for was right in my face and now he's gone. He always told me how much he loved and missed me and how he wanted me back. I didn't take him serious and now we will be never be together again. Nothing feels right anymore now that he's gone. I feel time is standing still but somehow still moving forward. I can't believe my love has left me so soon. I will never and hug and kiss him again. I feel like I took him for granted and now I'm reaping the repercussions. He is on my mind from the time I open my eyes until I go back to bed. He once told me that his life feels empty without me in it and now that he is gone, I unfortunately feel the same.