I loathe our relationship.
you’ve raised me up higher than I ever could have dreamed,
only to throw me down
from a higher point each time,
cracking my bones and drawing blood on the concrete.
but I keep crawling back to you,
over and over I destroy myself for your satisfaction
constantly shifting positions to avoid resting on one bone
for far too much time,
taunting and torturing myself in drops of water and crumbs of salteen crackers .
you promised me that I’d be rewarded for my efforts,
that people would look at me
with humble eyes
you wanted great
I provided spectacular
but then you realized you asked for superior,
all my work turned to nothing.
and as I double over in the bathroom
tears mixing with saliva
as my brain strains to calculate each kilocalorie
sitting in my distended stomach
where are those kilocalories now
lying at my feet
fulfilling your promise that I’d never feel
the pain, never face the fears.
but my friend, I believe you forgot
of losing just about everything else.