Dear Drew, 

I wish I could explain to you the things 

I can’t explain to you

But I can’t, 

Because I can’t explain them to myself. 

And I know that phrase is getting old, 

Along with all of the apologies 

I throw at you after I overreact 

About the things that are beneath us. 

I wish I could promise you 

That I will stop obsessing over 

Every little thing 

But If I promised you that 

I would obsess over trying to keep my 

Promise 

And then I would be breaking my promise anyway. 

Dear Drew, 

I wish I could tell you how much I love you 

Without you saying you love me more 

Because I cannot tell you 

That it’s just not true

Without explaining to you that  

Loving you hurts 

And then you would get the wrong idea 

That maybe you are hard to love

But the truth is just that 

Loving you hurts because I do love you more. 

And it hurts for reasons I cannot explain. 

And it hurts in ways i long to feel. 

I wish you understood how deeply 

And sincerely

And earnestly 

I want you

To want me. 

Because being loved by you 

And being wanted by you 

The way that I love you 

And the way that I want you 

Would ease this ache

I have in my heart 

Because finally 

I would know, without a doubt,

That I am worth it. 

Dear Drew, 

I am a mess 

And I know that you know it. 

I am difficult 

In the sense that I am hard to understand 

And I confuse you daily 

And I make big deals out of things that seem silly to you. 

And Dear Drew, 

I hope you know 

That everything I think 

Or say 

Or do 

Is out out of one thing, 

Maybe two, 

1. Love. 
2. And the fear of losing you. 

And that seems backwards, 

I know, 

Because If I loved you 

And I was truly scared of losing you, 

I would try 

To be different. 

But Dear Drew, 

I do try for you, 

And dear Drew, 

You know I love you. 

And dear Drew,-

I know you love me, 

too.