The Day I Forgot My Deoderant

Fri, 01/24/2014 - 12:15 -- BenMaes

Location

I hurdled over the laser

While the farage door closed over me

 

In a frenzy

I attempted to open my car

With a bagel in my mouth

Water in one hand

My book bag in the other

 

I drove through school zones

Slowly

And

Tensely

Eyeing the clock

As if my stare

Could stop time

 

I arrived

Parking in my usual spot

At the furthest end

Of the parking lot

 

My shoelaces

Flew wildly

Thrashing my ankles

As I ran

With my shoes

Loosely

Following suit

 

I ran past my classroom

(pause)

I turned around

(Bell rings)

And ran into my classroom

 

The teacher glared at me

Her spearing eyes

Magnified through her glasses

 

Goggles

I should say

 

She let it slide this time

She must have seen the fear in my eyes

 

Like a mirror

 

I wonder if

She scares herself

 

I sat down at my desk

Once my mind settled

I caught my breath

A heavy breath

 

The breath carried a scent

Of myself

Making me acutely aware

Of my mistake

 

I committed

The cardinal sin

Of morning preparation

 

I casually

Casually

Sniffed my own armpit

 

To double check

To make sure

If it was I

Who was carring

The rancid aura

 

The stench was just the beginning

Each sniff reminding me

Of my blunder

 

That scent

So repulsing

Yet alluring

That you take a

Casual sniff

And cringe again

And again

 

I held my arms as close

To my torso as possible

As if to prevent

That vicious scent

From escaping

 

But I was better than this

How could I succumb

To such a rookie mistake?

 

Ah! Yes

The emergency deoderant

I keep at all times

Buried under the heap

Of frisbees

In my trunk

 

I waddled

Like a penguin

To my teacher's desk

 

To ask

For temporary leave

To relieve

MY ailment

 

Her eyes saying "No"

Before they locked

With mine

 

The battle royal

The last stand

The final frontier

 

Of course she turns me down

Probably to

"Teach me a lesson"

 

But I will not stand for this

I took my seat instead

 

And so

I sat back

Sweating

Staring at her

With my hands resting

Behind my head

Stains

Showing

 

I see those bulbous eyes

Bulging

Each time she glances by

Trying to refrain

From peering

Into those two devilish

Pits of despair

 

I won

The day I forgot my deoderant

 

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