So young, with his life ahead of him,

He had his own set of rules.

He never knew of the power he held

Within himself.

Within others.

 

He walked through life with ease and anxiety;

This boy had two faces.

He had his good days, but the nights were horrific.

So deep, dark and dense was the

Moonlit nights.

 

His mind ran for miles.

The voices would never keep quiet.

His dreams,

He would never speak of.

For the demons came out to play then.

 

Nights spent dancing with the devil

And days spent singing with angels.

He could never choose which path he wanted

And needed.

No guidance was there for this boy.

 

With parents so strict and irrational,

With sticks of green and raised voices,

And the mindset of darkness,

He grew up too fast.

Too fast for his own good.

 

He was always told to be quiet

And to believe the nonsense.

Conspiracy after conspiracy

Was shoved down his throat.

And he swallowed it.

 

Anger pushed him to the ground.

It pushed him off the edge

Several times.

More than his mind will

Allow him to remember.

 

With holes in the wall

And bruises on his arms

And his young soul,

Rage pushed him through the wall.

And he was to blame.

 

Tears only filled his eyes in the shower.

What boy wants to be weak in front

Of the superiors?

Strong was getting harder

To be.

 

But what choice does a child have?

He couldn’t help his environment

And he didn’t choose this life.

Until he was twelve

And decided to blacken his soul.

 

That was just it.

He did have a choice.

It was his choice to continue

This dangerous sport.

He needed it.

 

The air was sweet to him,

And he knew it was an escape

From the chaos.

The massive destruction all around

Was softened.

 

He knew the demons would

Just SHUT UP.

To hush their deafening

Screams.

Silence.

 

Always looking up the bad

And the devastated.

He never could look at what his life could offer him.

He was so smart,

And oh so wise.

 

Not only book smart,

He was intelligent is every way.

He could fix a broken fence

Or mend a broken heart.

Except his own.

 

He was good at keeping secrets

And he knew his way to hearts.

With his doe eyes and sweet ways,

He could get away with everything.

Including his dark way of filling the void.

 

Soon he was older with so many

That adored him.

But the monster consumed him.

He didn’t just crave it

But needed it to get through the day.

 

He couldn’t go a day without it.

The monster called him out to play

And he came willingly.

The monster came as a new

Demon in his head.

 

This new beast was the worst one yet.

He couldn’t escape it

And it whispered to him all day.

Dying to get a fix

He mixed it with others.

 

Forgetfulness surrounded him.

School didn’t mater and

Friends were useless.

Wrapped up in the monster

And sex was his new life.

 

He was consumed in this now.

His focus was always elsewhere.

He couldn’t even drive sober;

This monster was his home.

And he loved the company.

 

Slowly,

He disappeared from lives.

He erased people

From his mind.

And never thought of them again.

 

The high doesn’t last long now.

But he always finds new ways

To make it stay.

Stay in his mind

And body.

 

This poor boy;

So lost.

All he wanted was to be found.

He was searched.

Not only was he found, but possessed.

 

The sparkle left his eyes.

Now, they were left dull, glassy, and

Red eyes.

They used to be so captivatingly beautiful.

Forever gone.

 

He was a real life zombie.

This boy was numb to the world

And all the pain.

He didn’t want to go back to the real world.

He liked this dull, hazed over place.

 

The saddest part is how he had a choice.

He could have finished school.

He could have great friends.

But he let the darkness consume him.

The tiny bit of light was covered up.

 

The cycle continues now.

While he could have broken it

He decided to follow the others foot steps.

The high was too good;

Too addicting.

 

I guess there’s only one good thing

That came out of his tragic life.

He happens to be my muse.