A precious little bundle

in a pink and purple blanket she was cuddled

A sweet little girl

Your natural, fresh-water, gleaming pearl

Who was an image of quintessential esque

with a love of dinosaurs, violence,

and a science-related desk

Who also wrote and drew with your pencils and pens

Instrument and horse riding lessons she begged

And with her father’s pride behind her

The awards soon started to occur

Her happiness was granted

when you had a face with a smile enchanted

 

You pressured for the best

Get an A on my math test

If I come for help, I don’t understand

Your teaching comes from another land

Still you say I have to get an excellent

With no means to get me to understand the concept

Only when I was older, was I able to find sources on my own

 

Soon came your regrets that started with your son

You had started to be gradually gone

Away from your troubles that haunt you so

Away from acceptance and maturity that you’d ought to grown

Soon you left a living piece behind

Tried to find a place to hide

You’re not only one who is hurting inside

 

Her sympathies are great but what could she say

She knows how you feel

but it’s done what was done that day

And no matter what, he couldn’t stay

But oh yes, the failing pain

Blame yourself

It’s fine to reflect on yourself

Not to confine in a dead end jail cell

 

She’s not in elementary school anymore

She doesn’t need me. What for?

She needs to learn to act and be by herself

Only she can’t do half without a car and/or credit card

Why bother with shows and games? They’re a bore

Except the concerts. Those have great scores.

 

Your presence was more than enough

Now, you don’t even want to come

To show you how far I’ve come

and scorched the plateaus

 

You didn’t even want to spend time

Counted your nickels and dimes

For your selfish grime

And a woman whose last name isn’t mine

(and began to process of creating a sike)

 

You placed the wrongs on me and my mother

as if we were the cause of becoming the bother

And that we are the fault that you hollered

and I believed that I caused the dishonor

 

I thought that I should work harder

That I did, didn’t amount to enough

I had to be fitter, prettier, smarter

And be a perfect daughter

Otherwise, I didn’t deserve your love

That it was something earned

and hadn’t achieved nearly as much as others

 

Not that I would tell you how I felt

I feared you would offer pain dealt

Screw your face into red ribbon welts

 

Whatever I did was never good enough

Because you still fooled around

and I wasn’t bothered that you weren’t found

when I came home, no call for a reason later bound

 

When I got older then still, I learned that I had value

That love isn’t earned but given and cherished

and you refused to look at me

and offer an apology

saying that I needed to grow up

that what I feel is wrong

I know it isn’t

and In my head, I say

I’m more of an adult than you are

I ran away

and hid in my room

wishing you would come to my rescue

Because that’s what dads do

I hear my mom talk

“She needs you to be her father.”

But you never did

As I waited to hear the sounds of creaking stairs

So I walked back down

to once again face you

A long ago needed discussion turned arguement

You storm off, fanning your fuse

Angry that I pointed out fallacies

and that you covered the truth

 

If you ever ask me when I’m twenty

the reason I called you by your first name

Is because I stopped catering to you

To get the things I needed, like college money

That you misspent not on me, but someone called Mary

and since when did I marry?

(You never even got an invitation)

 

You stopped treating me like your daughter

That’s why I stopped calling you father