Confidence Killer
Location
There were times when I wasn’t happy with who I was.
There were times I was too confident in myself
There were times where all I wanted to do was run and hide.
They say it’s hard to be a teenager – having to figure out who you are
But what they didn’t prepare me for was the constant anxiety.
I tried being the tough chick, the smart chick, the chick who just didn’t give a crap.
Tried giving myself hundreds of makeovers,
Nothing ever seemed to work.
I always felt like the outcast,
Not because I was just so awkward – even though it’s true.
I wasn’t so ugly that everyone wanted to put a paper bag over my head.
There’s always the one flaw that kills a teenager’s confidence.
Mine just happened to be obvious.
Sure not everyone said something about it
But the question was always there.
An elephant in a room filled with ballerinas.
When questions were asked, I was to play it off.
Act cool.
But I’m far from “cool.”
Instead I’d answer questions.
I’d get defensive.
I’d feel the tears.
But I learned one thing from a person who meant so much to me.
He never said a word about it.
He loved me like it was his last day breathing.
He made me feel confident.
He made me feel beautiful.
I learned to be happy.
I learned to deal with the flaws life gave me.
Corny as it may seem:
I learned to love the imperfections because they made me, me.
But Amblyopia is still a bitch.