“You’re your worst critic, you know that?” my mother always tells me.
Every morning I wake up, I awfully despise staring into a mirror,
Forcing myself to make eye contact with my lifeless reflection.
Without an hour worth of preparation,
I am not me; I am not Amanda.
Everyone on social media recognizes me as the girl who can flawlessly execute the combination of primer, foundation, concealer and filters.
The children from my urban community often say, “Her selfie game is on point.”
Unfortunately, today pictures are only worth a thousand likes, never mind words.
No one gathers around a selfie and questions whether or not the artist behind the photo was upset or excited,
Confused or appalled,
Fatigued or anxious.
Truth is, no one really cares.
No one really cares that I spent an hour on my make-up and hair and possibly another fifteen minutes choosing the perfect filter.
So long as they tap that “Like,” button, they will know me as the “pretty girl,” not Amanda.
Personally, I do not feel beautiful waking up first thing in the morning.
So be it, I am my worst critic, physically.
However, I know who I am internally.
I know who I am today, who I want to be in the future and what it is that makes me happy.
My mother, sister and few friends that have seen me without make-up all say the same thing,
“You’re beautiful either way, Amanda; with or without make up.”
They all love me for who I am, not for what I look like.
Still, that does not make me want to end my façade with make-up.
I love make up, I love selfies and I love filters!
In my mind, everything could use a little color. Color gives life!
Whether it’s raining or snowing,
The sun is hidden or showing,
Nothing will stop me from wanting to make people smile.
I love the sound of laughter.
And there is nothing more beautiful than the sound of laughter emitted from my witty schemes.
The sound gives me life,
Like the make up and filters give my pale skin.
My jokes and stories are like my palette and brushes working together to create something beautiful.
Without my make up and filters,
I would not feel complete.
There would be no laughter.