Cinderella Story: The Reflection of my Own Failure


United States
41° 54' 10.2132" N, 87° 38' 9.2868" W

My tale will be of my quests for glory.
But cut the crappy intro it’s my rag to riches story. I want to be on top. And let everything that hold me down drop. This isn’t any Holden Caulfield-type of garbage, I’m just some punk teenager who looking for a way out. Sucks, my laziness always puts up quite a bout. Let me just tell you this whack-job of a story that happened to me, again this isn’t a Holden Caulfield-type story. First off, I’m 16, I do put some effort, I want to succeed, and I want to leave this concrete jungle known as Chicago in the dust. The name’s Kenneth, Kenneth Crawford please don’t let the name get anymore rust. So anyway it’s September 2011 and I was determined to improve my last year’s performance resulting with a 2.43 GPA. I started off pretty decent made some new friends, did good work in class & at home, played football. But I think that there is when I started to fall. I had a slight slip in one class and took time off football myself to bring it up but then my mom saw and flipped and I told my mom to let do tutoring with the team. But she didn’t and completely ripped that seam. If you’re wondering why every single line rhymes, it’s because I’m a poet and it makes this easy to pass through time. I brought the grade back up to a C in time for the last game of the season where if we’d won we would’ve made the playoffs. Either way, I shed tears with them after the loss because it was so close. And I think at school we would have established our post. So, I laid low from the athletic scene and academics were right in my mind. I kind of panicked because of some factors such as time. I thought directly of my dream schools Florida State University, Florida Agricultural & Mechanical University, & Bethune-Cookman University. I thought of ACTs, took the PSATs, and completely took my eyes off of what was in front of me. I had took my eyes off homework, did outstanding classwork, and did decent test work. Testing just happens to be one of my strongest attributes but the homework factor really hurt.
So it’s the 1st quarter out of the way and then I thought I was in the clear. Wrong! I was doing worse and finished the semester with 3 D’s the worst semester in all my years. I was ashamed, depressed, even hated seeing my face in the mirror. This year just seemed dark and I was looking for the light to make everything clearer. So I made the obvious wrong choice and turned to just ignoring my problems hoping they will go away. Even after leaving school I just wanted to shut down because every day felt like a long day. As soon as I set foot in my house I turn the key that turns my engine off because I have used it for nearly 8 hours. I couldn’t take an office job because if I’m there too long I might tear down the company’s towers. I kept searching and searching and time just elapsed and in the 3rd quarter everything just collapsed. I was looking for a way out and as far as my mom was concerned she was telling me I have to get back on my horse and do what I have to do. The problem was I wasn’t sure I knew where my horse was or if I was even chasing it and I didn’t have any excuses for her or you. It was the final stretch and I guess my horse was dead and for the first time in my life, I had to do something I never thought I had to do, summer school. And in my mind I failed and that turned my depression to hot instead of cool. Well that’s my account of last year and to be honest, I don’t give a d*mn about it anymore because it is what it is. I’m all f.i.s.h. about it so I’m kicking myself in the boots and getting ready for next year where it’s all on the line and it’s the give or take bids. I repeat what I did last year and give more depression or make sure that next year I have the best f*cking scholastic year I ever had in my life. I don’t know if the choice I intend to make will happen but I’m taking this on like a fighter needing to get his strife. I want to go to Florida and next year determines if I can or not. So I’m locking myself in work & organization without another thought lost in the lot. I hate homework but I don’t have a choice. I can’t become stressed, angry, or tense; I have to be like an apex Rattler full of poise. Yes, I am aware I used Florida A&M’s mascot as a simile because I have that school on top. But if I want to make it there I can’t afford to allow another year to drop. So, I have a new plan for next year. It’ll take some time to actually take some time for me to have all the certainties minus the fear. Hell, why do I even have fear? I have thought of doing something more than I ever did, actually plan out my steps for the forthcoming year. So there you have it folks, Kenneth Crawford has finally removed his head from his a** and woke up. It took 10 years but after arguing with adults, rejecting advice, and realizing my own mistakes and poking my lip out like a pup… I finally can guarantee that I can have a stellar year. I only wish that I had done it sooner and spared myself all of the self-inflicted turmoil and gratuitous tears.

Guide that inspired this poem: 


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