Chubby Will Not Be My Middle Name

Wed, 01/08/2014 - 13:41 -- ajkelly

Chubby Will Not Be My Middle Name


A table set with perfection

Not a single article out of place

My family gathers around holding hands

We then recite Grace


It is always a tight squeeze in the dining room

Too many large people sitting around a large table

But somehow we seem to fit

And miraculously with all the weight on our chairs they remain stable


I am squished in-between two large men

Who pile the turkey on their plate slice after slice

While letting the mashed potatoes and gravy flow freely

Then me, just eating enough to feed the mice


When the turkey plate is passed to me I take one

I am concerned for myself

I want to live to see the next zombie apocalypse  

That is why I believe in fair health


Their weight is not an issue that seems to concern

To me it is

I know as a family we are not a healthy bunch

Especially when they only thing that can be heard is soda fizz


I want to live a full life

But of course half the family has had an ER stop

Personally I want to stay out of the statistics

Because I do not want to randomly drop


It will only ever be a dream to get my family healthy

They like to sit around and moan

Which does not intrigue me

That is probably why after eating a full dinner I do no not sit around and groan


Treadmills do not scare me

What does is plopping down between the large guys

They don’t know but they foreshadow my future

Knowing that it puts me on my third set of suicides



The dumbbells are now my friends

We have a love-hate relationship

Ten. Fifteen. Twenty. Twenty-five.

What comes next makes me want to trip


Insta flat abs are not impossible

No flab arms on the other hand are

Looking in a mirror shows confidence

Especially when taking the bike versa the car


Looking around this holiday season

All I see is bursting buttons on shirt

Don’t forget the unbuckled belts

It’s mostly because of the overload on the desserts


I love my family more than anything else

They are the people that make me most happy

While it may seem I tear them apart

I am just concerned with their health, it is just so crappy


I wish they all could live the life I choose

But it cannot always be that way

They make their own decisions

While I decide to break away


When it comes to the two big guys I sit in-between

I could not be more proud to be a part of their family

However just once I wish they would think about the benefits

Because I know that when I am older I will be sized normally


Guide that inspired this poem: 


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