You tried to clean up my mess
You tried to wash away my fear
You burned my fingers and poured lye in my eyes
Now i can't see and I can't feel
I keep praying; God this can't be real
But it is
So pour on more gasoline and strike a match
Wait I'll take that one back
Nevermind
Stop, in the name of love
Give me another cigarette instead
Not a Marlboro or Camelback
but something more like a Winston or Ashford
If you're going to countinue killing me
won't you give me a few more minutes to do it myself
Let me inhale a whole pack
I'll swallow more Cognac while we're at it
Oh and please tell me i'm just another one of your whores
Cigarettes for sex right
Wasn't that the original deal
Oh but we're Christian kids and we don't know sex from drugs and drugs from rainbows
Can ya hand me that knife over there
I'll start the autopsy beforehand
There's a shovel to your left and if you don't mind i'd rather have my new condo not six but eight feet under your muddy feet
Oh are you surprised
You thought you disposed of all the pain inside by
Making me stare into my moldy coffee as I wonder if this is how everything is really supposed to be
I thought friends were supposed to love you and understand your thoughts and statements but you hardly know what I am saying
I spend all my time listening to your boy problems
And your "obssesive complusive disorder" whatever
And i know that you are l iving in a world of easy grays
And I'm stopping to wonder am I the only person who can see true colors
You love to lie in a mixture of false acclamations and altered exaggerations and
When I tell you a fact you recoil and ask me
It's cuz I'm black isn't it
That ones getting old
And I remember again that I have to love you but I can't seem to understand your simple ways and easy life
That I wish I could comprehend as I hide from the sold out news
If only I had waiting till I died to come alive
Because now I'm the only one breathing with a blue heart beating in time to my
Footsteps that race away from the fiction and you scream back at my silence
God's not dead
But your voice is and I know that you don't really know God
but that you are just living to have a good time
Drink a few beers
Smoke a few smokes
Not sleep alone for a few more times than needed and
It drives me crazier and crazier
Into the wind that's there to wipe away my tears again
And I slam my fists on the steering wheel screaming why can't you all just pretend more than you do
And every time you say you love me I want to stand and yell objection
And I end up saying love ya too, can i repeal that
Pretty please with a cherry on top
Or wait it'll take that one back too
It's too much to ask from someone as naive and perfect as you
It's too much to ask for a small nibble of love
Your social security number
A hug
Or maybe just one damn friend I can believe in
But hashtag Every Family Has an unwanted bastard that just happens to be me
So, no I can't hastag Feel The Love Tonight
Pretty please if you ever thought you loved me can you pour some acid onto my skin and leave a scar in the shape of your kiss and stop trying to make me smile
I am not NOT content with all this insipid shit
So, no, you didn't disposed of the pain inside.
K
Thx
Bai