New

Change makes me uncomfortable

I feel a connection 

There’s something about someone who gets it, right?

Like, there’s nothing weird about discussing absent fathers on a fist date like

Everything that happened before I met you must not have been so bad, right?

It hasn’t been long enough to tell

But I see a future with you

I wasn’t looking for one

But I see a future with you

So similar I worry that talking about you is an excuse to bathe in my own narcissism

The way you look at me as a way to remind me of my passion

Your sense of humour as a way to call myself funny

Opening doors to prove my own kindness

You think like me

And that makes me uncomfortable

I’m sure holding your hand will feel unfit

Not like wrong pieces of a puzzle

But pieces from different sets that fit together better than their originals

Your hand on my shoulder leaving prints covered in invisible paint that only I can see

Only we can see

Your actions are filtered through the childlike wonder I didn’t know still belonged to me

Mistaking the butterflies in my stomach for nausea or hunger

I already ate

I was nervous

Now fervent, uncomfortable but not afraid

You remind me that there’s more than one way to feel

New ways, actually, and they all start and end with you 

Noticing details I never used to 

Like the freckle on your right ear or 

That thing you do with your mouth when I look at you how I look at you and

The stretch marks on your back that disappear depending on how you’re standing or

The throaty sounds you make when we kiss 

There’s a body in my bed 

It’s different

But I like it more than mine

You’re the biggest little spoon I’ve ever had but

This change doesn’t make me uncomfortable.

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