I never had sex
yet I had a child
Only 9 going on 10 years old and I had a child
They didnt do it on purpose
They didnt intend to make me a mother
But here I was
This little boy in my hands
Here I was right out of diapers myself, stuby legs, flat chested with no bump of my own to present milk of my own with a child in my arms
I didnt complain , I didnt realise back then how this child straight out of my mothers womb would also become a part of me
He greeted me with smiles and how could I protest
I had my own barbie doll a live oner ight in my arms
How could I protest
Others my age were jumping rope, playting dress up, danicing in the sun...
I was taking care of my child
Not cause my parents were un-fit
Just time was'nt on their side
It wasnt a burden, what did I know?
Again I was nine maybe ten and he was my life
I grew up, he grew up right there next to me, we grew up
Now I see a part of me in him
I was too young, I didnt get a chance to live
I didnt breath, I didnt dance
I didnt skip down roads
I didn't get a chance to be a child
but hey , time waits for no one
I was no peter and tinkerbell didnt fly through my window
but what does it matter now
I'm 17 and i'm just now realising
I NEVER HAD A CHILD!
So why is it so hard to choose something for myself withought thinking of him
Why do I fear the worst if I depart
They dont know who he is, they dont know what he likes, they were there but I was closser
I was there when he cried, a little girl rocked a little boy to sleep
A little girl held a little boys hand as they crossed the street
A little girl raised a little boy
He's not done growing
Neither is she, but her journey is almost over
She feels theres another place she must be
So how does a mother tell her child she wants to leave him behind.. greater things await
It breaks her heart to know she might shatter his heart
If she leaves who will be his mother?
It frightens me to know every move I make affects him too
He doesnt deserve to be deserted
How do I choose
How do I the girl who has a child wake up and realise that...
she DOESNT HAVE A CHILD...