Chasing Tulip

The world around me has grown. 
Tulips, Basil, Lilacs;
anything imaginable dares to cross my path.
However, the Tulips, they haunt me.
I try to catch up to them:
forever running behind.
Laughter echoes around me,
Giving no allowance for one to break free.
But I stop and ponder...
Is loneliness my destiny?
Bearing no fruit to extend my legacy?
My only cause of this sinful world,
to have the innocence in my arms,
rocking it back and forth, surrounding them in the warmth of fairy tales
that would never truly end as their future.
I could die happily knowing I gave my entire being to that one innocent bean.
But knowing that I might not be able to,
is a burden a mother with no child holds.
Not being able to wake up with a heartbeat in my belly,
a smile on my face,
a rumble in my tummy.
Knowing I will never be able to catch up to that Tulip,
scares me more than living. 

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