My heart beats out of tune
Off key and alone.
One steady beat in disarray
Breaking with each word
“he’s not coming”
“you’re not good enough”
It breaks and I cauterize it
The burning stops one pain and starts another.
The burns get more and more painful leaving ugly scars
They say what doesn't kill is going to make you stronger
But all I've got is scar tissue upon scar tissue.
Burning to mask the pain
My fear has finally set in
pieces of my heart have turned to black
Those pieces are now so delicate when touched they turn to ash.
I fear my scarred heart will turn completely to charcoal.
When it breaks again
there will be nothing left to burn
It will simply
and fade like it never existed at all
Leaving me a shell
Like a piece of charcoal.
It beats it breaks it burns....
Beating fainter each time
on and on
I can't help but wonder why I did this to myself
I guess i'm just too much of a coward to actually do anything about it
I could never really hold a match to my skin and watch it burn
Emotional turmoil appears to be my poison
I hide where no one can see
within my own mind lighting little fires
Reeking havoc on my own little world
when I kill the pain I kill everything
The part that loves
the part that hates
All im left with is numb
and piece of beating charcoal