The Change of Breakage

 I am lonely and I hope, I really hope that you will never, ever, leave because with you everything is better. You make my days like gardens and my nights like wine, drunk off your eccentric ways of life. And if one night I cried, you’d be there and it would all just be okay. You’d hold me and comfort me and I’d know that you’re okay and we’re okay and everything would be alright. I’d hurt and ache like I do but it wouldn’t be nearly as bad with you. Your strength and power would leave me in awe time after time, memorized by your care and endless love. And when you break, don’t ever, EVER, doubt that I won’t be there because time after time I will. I promise you. I will be strong for you and hold you and not weep any longer for the sake of your health and your sanity. I will be your crazy psychologist and you can be my one-of-a-kind patient and together, well remain sane. No, fuck that, we’ll remain more than sane. We’ll be happy. For once in our god forsaken lives we’ll realize that today is no longer a day of pain and misery but a day of joy and happiness. I will look at you, and I will cry, no longer with tears of hurt or fear or anger but with tears of pure happiness. And you will look back at me with your exquisite smile and I will know that this is right, and that this is what everyone talks about. I will know that I am no longer alone and I am no longer trapped in that dark room without any light. I have found a hole in the wall, a leak of illumination, an essence of hope, a sense of passion, a reason for life. And I hope, I really do hope that you feel the same way and that I make you smile and I hope that I am your light, today and everyday. Because without this light I am nothing but a lost girl, someone who has been endlessly searching and searching for You. And now that I’ve found you I am without words, for you have changed everything. I will now just smile and continue to hope that you will be my everyday forever and you will be my fixture and my love and my happiness. And if you ever break away I will no longer remember my days of fear and darkness. I will only remember the days that you have brought me up and saved me from myself. So thank you, my darling, for being there and saving me from the broken hell I was in. I pray that you will love me longer then existence and I hope that I can give to you what you have given me. I hope that some point after my showered shoulder kisses or before our late nights of endless conversations, you will cry and realize the happiness and know that life is beautiful and this, this, is what life is supposed to be. I hope you realize that I love you and that tomorrow is nothing but another day of this and life is worth living because with being brought down there will always be someone to lift you up. I hope I can be your lifter, the one who changes everything. Because that, my love, is what you have given to me day after day. So thank you for being wonderful and saving me and bringing me here, where I am, in this glorious, glorious life with you.

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