The life giving organ enclosed in a bony tomb in the center of my breast pumps rapidly
It tries to spread its feathery wings to fly away
But it can’t
The overpowering mistakes of my past have been interlocked into seemingly unbreakable links of steel
They wrap unforgivingly around my heart and pull together harder and harder.
Forever bound to suffer the excruciating rhythmic beats of wings ripping at thick chains
Every time I see you I add a link to the chain

But I’m masochistic so I keep looking
And keep adding

Every time our stares find each other I suffer this torment and struggle

But I’m masochistic so I keep looking
And keep adding and adding

Every time that our lips and tongue work together to make words I ache to rip out this pounding vessel and hand it to you

But I’m masochistic so I keep looking
And keep adding and adding and adding…

And the prison guard that is my mind keeps reminding me that I have been sentenced to a life chained
And feel the urge to tear myself open and give you the piece of me that matters
To want to fall for you……but not be able to