Paused in my steps as everything around me continues to go forward/ my mind over stimulated as the problems seem to stack up even more/ a tornado of situations that I have to find the solutions to/ financially I'm hurting, hurting bad/ dreaming about all the shit I wish I could have/ laying back my mind feels like it's on speed/ cant slow it down suffering from severe anxiety/ it's getting hard to sleep/ problems are piling up quickly/ exhausted physically because I can't get rest mentally/ so I try providing myself with an outlet emotionally/ but now that's becoming a set back/ because the guy I want to build with isn't ready for all of that/ so I yearn to have just a piece of my life right/ so I fight/ trying to build a strong family/ so that when its time for war I already have my army/ I'll already have the ones I trust/ never have to question because their word is enough/ to know that I'll never have to face any situation alone/ and when my heart is heavy I'll have another to borrow/ when the bitter cold of this world try's to freeze me out/ I'll have heat behind me to whether any drought/ but in my tracks I'm forced to a screeching halt again/ because this man won't be my man he can't bring himself to be fully committed / now I have accumulated another issue/ because now I'm wondering if there's some secrets that a company this dude/ I wish I could put my trust in your reasoning for why you don't want to commit/ but I've been bullshitted way too much to not be guarded/ shits crazy as I lean forward thinking this can't be it/ struggling working pay check to pay check/ even though it's paid for it still isn't paid for yet/ getting up same shit everyday/ thinking of a plan so that I can buy me and my loved ones a better way/ so that I can find essential peace/ another day dreaming a reality that nowadays are only in dreams/ eyes open I stir at my ceiling/ praying that one day I can have a king laying beside me/ someone who will give his all, respect and loyalty/ no more days of feeling the way I feel now/ angry, sad, lonely, and just down/ but days of happiness even when shit ain't perfect looking/ a joy and everlasting peace/ this life I have now can't be all there is/ I got to find away to evolve through this shit.