Buster

​No one feels the pain I feel. No one gets how much it hurts to lose a friend that you've grown up with. A friend that you hung out with that morning before they were gone. He was always there, and I never questioned it.  He always somehow made me smile and made me realize life shouldn't be taken so seriously. The wag of his tail and the cheery smile is still vivid in my mind. I was sitting on the floor outside of the children's clinic waiting for the lunch break to be over so I could go in for my appointment when my dad came by. I asked him how he was doing and then he told me the news. At first I felt my universe spin inside my chest and then I thought maybe I didn't hear him right, but I did, I know I did. Then I felt pure and raw sadness with every wet and silent year that streaked my face. Next came guilt overridden by the sadness once more. Why today, why now? Was it be because I took him on a walk and he just wasn't strong enough? Did he know how much he meant to all of us... To me? Now is fear. I've always had a fear of two things in life: spiders and death. Death is a sore subject to me because it hurts so much. I've lost two grandparents already and a lifelong companion is not a great third victim. As my pink eyes start to sting, my chin starts to tremble and my face becomes even messier. Why did he stop eating?  Why did his tail stop wagging? How long has it been since be last barked or done one of his famous beagle howls? His once young and loud and I'll admit, sometimes annoying life, somehow became lifeless and sad. He had a good life, but I knew it was time deep down. So as I kissed him goodbye for the last time, I looked into his smiley gray face and saw a dog who lived a good long life, a dog that was special and loyal and lovable... And deserved to be out of pain and resting in peace. 

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