My love, the one I live for

 

I want to tell you of the day I died

It started simply like this:

My eyes were stinging

Burning with passion

The tears were brimming

Threatening to spill over

The stars were shining

Beckoning me to join them

The ground in front of me

Desperate to swallow me

My mind was flooding 

The dam I had built

To keep everything back

Was finally

Broken

No one saw me

No one understood me

When they finally payed attention

To me

All they would see was something

Broken

They hurt me

With their words

Pushing me

Closer and closer

To the edge

Closer to my own demise

I closed my eyes

Trying to blind myself

From the pain

Finally, I gave in

The pain overtook me

The pain that I felt everyday

The pain that came 

Every time I looked in the mirror

The pain that came

When I remembered

That I was

Broken

In a way, 

I had brought it upon myself

I had let everything into my walls

Once they found their way in

I could not seem 

To let it back out

Every time I would let one in

All it seemed to do

Was multiply

As they would multiply

They would take root

They found their way 

Into every part of my mind

Slowly

Unnoticeably

They broke apart my mind

Cracking it

Pushing me out

Making way

For more to come

As more did

They would fill the cracks

And create more

They threatened to eventually 

Exile me

Finally,

The time came

They took over

Forced me out

Over the edge

I opened my eyes

Tears finally falling

Blurring my already

Shattered sight

I took a deep breath

Of the cold night air

The first of my last

The beginning of

My end

I searched my broken mind

Looking for a final thread

Of my former self

To hold onto

A desperate attempt

To fight the war

I had already lost

Softly, 

I felt a shadow descend

Falling gracefully

Across my shoulders

The elegant wings

Stirred a soft breeze

Restless in the darkness

A cold hand took mine

At last, 

Death had come

Finally, 

He had come to collect the soul

That had been evading him

I looked into his obsidian eyes

Shattered as mine already were

His crooked smile

Welcomed me

Death seemed pleased

That he finally could catch me

He stepped back

And opened his arms

He had waited greedily 

For this moment

The moment I had been fighting

For so long

The moment

That I broke

My pain brought me there

The pain that tortured me

It hurt my mind

Then hurt my soul

It hurt my body

As the pain built

Making me bleed

I bled in different ways

My heart bled ink

Onto blank pages

Creating pictures

And telling stories

I bled stories

Telling them 

Writing them

Getting in trouble

For what my stories told

I bled 

Beautiful red blood

I scarred

I tempted fate

Many times before

I had seen Death

When I would tempt fate

Death would be there

Waiting to see the results

Waiting for me to falter

To crack

To break

When fate won,

And I woke up the next day

Death would flee

Upset that I evaded him

Yet again

Now, in that moment

Death stood triumphant

Knowing he had beat me

His arms were still outstretched

Waiting for me to join him

I took one last look at the stars

The one thing that kept me going

Inspired me to live

They had let me down

A final tear fell, 

Turning to ice

In the cold presence

Of Death

It shattered on the ground

Broken

Like me

I took a final breath

Feeling free

And accepted Death's embrace

..............................

A warm hand took mine

Though

As I was lifted up

On the wings of Death

It held on,

As Death tried to leave

I looked down

And saw a face

Your face

Your hand, holding mine

Keeping me with you

You pulled me down

And out of Death's embrace

Instead of the cold

I now felt warmth

Enveloping me

I turned around, 

And watched Death leave once more

That day was not the day

Death would take me

You had saved me

And kept me safe once more

My love, 

You took my face

In your hands

And fixed my shattered eyes

You let me see the world

As you already did

You saved me

That was the day I died

But

It was also the day I was born

For that I thank you

And love you,

 

Your dear broken angel