Slumber, sleeping softly

Dreams of lazy summer days soon to come

A door bursts open and a robed woman shouts at me

IT’S YOUR BROTHER, GET UP

Panic

It’s 5 a.m. 

I leap with my heart pounding, thunder in my ears

Shouting questions across the house

No one has the answers

I curse the God I love

Threaten Him

Don’t you dare take my brother

A happy family hangs in portraits on the wall

Frames shaking as doors slam

Feet storm down the hall

The woman screams

JUST GET IN THE CAR

We peel out

We ignore speed limits and stop signs

Sobbing, praying, hoping

My world is a carousel

My mind is a movie

The scene is a reel of everything I love 

About him

My best friend

My brother

Playing Sega as children

Devising plans to run away

Drying each other’s tears

Here’s all we know now:

Too many drinks, probably drugs

Then a crash

Lifeline

E.R.

My brother could be dying this very moment

And everything in me is breaking

We arrive

I see blood caked like icing amidst the broken bones

Still reeking of liquor

But he is conscious

On his back as the tears slide 

From his eyes to his ears

SO SORRY

SO SORRY

I LOVE YOU

I WILL CHANGE

The only promise I ever wanted

And he kept it

And still keeps it