Brain Stew

I am a writer, I write to ease my pain. Hear me scribble, yabble, and babble scrap!

And so I will write until day’s end, for the book is my only true friend.

I write my heart out and tear pages from my soul.

And I will say I have no problem at all.

No problem about sex and drugs and such, even though I went through much.

I dare not wonder how long my shadow will stop following me, I will not wonder at all. For if I wonder then wonder will wonder about why I wonder. Meaning I will forget all the important things in mind.

I was raised as a lady I have to say, however if I could imagine myself in a room full of age books and my head under pile of paper bowed as in prayer. Not to say I don’t do this now and at the end of my long day of work I will drink a glass of good brandy like an English gentleman.

See I was raise to be a lady and still am, but I will grow up to be a well educated gentleman. What does this mean?  Well I do like my gender and my sex, but I prefer to be neither of those. My thought of life and death is the same I am both dead and alive. Now I know you might be puzzle, asking yourself what is this joke? How a human being is neither male nor female, is not sexual and is both dead and alive.

You see it just so happen to be that I am nothing but a writer. Course I have a tiny dark horse in some other activity, but mainly a writer. and a writer have a store of images  inside his or her head waiting to be pick down to smallest detail in writing. I am the same way but I live in my head so much that where I go picture shopping have no need for gender identification or race or sexual interest.

I have no fear in knowing if I’m dead or alive either. It’s not a fine way of living though because I space out so much I believe that I was not meant to be in this world. So far these thoughts have gotten stronger as I age and I don't know what to do. When poetry isn’t enough I turn to books and novels and music and arts all together.

Today I fear religion, I fear the people, I fear the ground, I fear the sky, I fear the fear that fear the …. Sunlight hit my eyes blind me from my sins now please I can't take more of this sight. It is unsightly ! brighten it white with your rays. Don’t set your smile on me now I have come this far, far!!!

This is a thought of a writer. Of course it's a jumble mess but I am nonetheless a jumble mess.

In god we trust a saying in the dollar states. I was born and raised in a silent island called.. What I don’t remember for the life of me. I had nothing in that empty head of mine and I still don’t. Sadly I am just as confused as when I first came to America. I know not what I want to do or whom I want to love I guess I will sit still like always till something happen. I don’t want to chase its way too much because sometime I got too tired easily. This I blame my second hand smoking ;as I write my body is brimming with cancer causing chemical , but so is everyone else’s .

It’s weird how people can have a feeling for strangers. Whether it’s hate, love or admiration and maybe you can’t help who you fall in love with is kind of true (yes this line is supporting same sex marriage). Anyways have you ever seen dew on a blade of grass and you thought what a nice dew.   Why kids need to stay in school? I understand these two lines have nothing to do with each other but that is how I view the world. It's strange and eccentric nature shock me and for the records I know why kids need to stay in school. But asking an obvious question is beautiful as once quotes a wonderful poet.

There is lot of things I don’t understand I guess this is why it fit me well to be a writer and express them in other ways than speech. But the things I wonder about the most is human nature what makes them do the things they do and how they react to some things interest me . Everything we see since birth can be the very factor of our personality and such diverse personality we harvest on earth. It’s like colors from a rainbow and I will try my best to take in every color in because they are all so beautiful and none is much better than the other. I kind of have great tolerance but like any normal human I have a breaking point.

I know all of this is too much to take in and is very confusing; however I learn that not everything in life is black and white and we are not simple creatures ourselves to be fair . Besides if everything was so straight-forward we would be bored because we as humans love some trouble to go along with our Brain Stew.


This poem is about: 
Our world
Guide that inspired this poem: 



This poem is a reflection of my raw thoughts.

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