Blood, Sweat, and Tears | All I Need Scholarship Slam

You know,I hate when you treat me like a troubled child I mean I ain't got the best of sense but I'm not out here doing something without your consent Like okay uh l lied a couple times but was never slick with it 

Intricate and different. I'm that 

Poster kid ....but treated like..Ol girl that everyyyyy body got in they neighborhood,   You know, that type to go to all the parties Dance on all the dudesOf course she ain't got values cause her alcoholic mama ain't got no rules So she In every other bed like that leads to respect All on social media Showing all of her chest Doing drugs at school, engaging in unpro-tected sexwhile I'mDoing everything you say Yet Ev-erything is a messNow my mind is clouded So I'm, left alone tocry these rivers contaminated with precipitated flashbacks of mistreatment  I mean What do you want from me ma...Drip drop 
Everything I do ...is wrongI'm confused No longer physical This pain I feel is mental A tumor made up of encrypted images of what I thought a mother was supposed to be Holding me Supportin, ProvidinProtectinNot "I'm an adult and your a child, that's just what you gotta deal with"Not hitting me till I bruise, acting like I don't feel it Not saying you love me then your actions don't reflect itYou not wanting to hear my words so you shred them up and you rip itAnd I ask God why am I even in this predicament why you punchin, pricking & picking with this baby that you brought into the world but now you wanna replace it And that's just the basis, I hate when you act like ima mistake and sh....stuff, maDrip dropWashing this mouth out with soap No foul language of course I'll never disrespect you But after the divorce yousaw the man that left you left inside of me His blood is my blood I'm his seed, I got his eyes and with his eyes I see you take no pride in meWill I be just like him? that's not guaranteed But I beg to God that I'll never be like the woman that makes me bleedDrip drop...I ask for forgiveness too And of course I forgive youPast all the drama you are my mama But what is that anyways?Those Picasso like recreations I see in all magazines Painting the perfect mother on that idealistic platform I envision in my dreams ??she could never be reality See because of your mentality I've Placed sorrow higher than morality Meaning I'm accustomed to the damage in me ....I love you maThe amount of hurt I've received from you is just .over. Whelming ...You hit with all the force you had Poked me with every needle point of aggression that lies within your soulPinched me with every piece of grudging pain that lingers on your finger tipsStabbed me with every sharp memory engraved in your membrane Drip drop The tears ....The tears hurt more than the woundsTaken more pills than any child should consumeThought about taking my life but Ive never been a quitter Yet you have the nerve ....to be bitter? For what ? That should be me...See cause Change never happens and it's sad but I'll fight through it all till the day that I leave, just. like. dad.See..Love is like a virus You try your best to stay protectedBut the day you shed a tear,That's when you know you've been infected My past tears will pass onto your eyesThese past years will flash on in your mind Those many times of neglection will be apart of your reflection & see I'm used to cleaning up the messesThe splashes, the dirt, the spills, & the rest but that Liquid flowing from your system will be the type that Nel will not pick up MaDrip.....*sigh* stop  All I needed was love

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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