When I was younger

I cut skin like paper

Bad blood drripping like

rain on a fooged up car window

Driving away from my shallow grave

In a dream like state

Blood hitting the floor like boults of lighting 

My heart beats with no purpose

Thick chocolate pudding

Falling this is my blood I recall

and so

Looking back now i can see the red stains on the wall

and

My tears where louder then bullets escaping from that gun

I wonder did anyone hear or see my cry

for help or did they just see my smiles fade away

and think that it was normal

No one came to see if i was okay any of them nights

so i just cut away

No one cared if i faded away

so i wiped my own tears from falling

while Michelle duggar was giving birth

via emergancy C-section to her nineteenth child in counting

I started poping pills

like a drug addict

The repetition had to stop

My fire

My light still shining

But i think my freedom is looked in a prison

because still some nights the knife and pills call my name

they take to me like my bestfriend does when im having a bad day

But i want to know

How can you look at me pass judgemnt

when you dont even know me

is it enough that I judge and blame myself

i guess not because you can never please people

Pen and paper helped me

to think and have a clear mind

every once in awhile

we tag our selves and otheres in a in the same old facebook states or tweet

the facebook states

i tagged myself in a new post

the title of my new qoute

is diffrent from what instagram and twitter

means now

and

my page gets more likes and comments then Mimi's sex tapes and officer Rogers combined

I want you to put more time and effort in improving yourself

insted of juding others

and trying to improve them

My scars will eventually heal and fade

fade away a fast as thundre did

as fast as rain falling

As swift as bolt

My pen is mighter then a swored

But it all comes down to the very last pint

of a thread and needle

am i ready to bite this bullet of death this young

if i stop cutting no lost love

and i will live and learn as i get older

the elephant of suprise is

i never wanted to even start it just happened

i tell myself

people tell me what i did was YOLO

"you only live once"

my defintion was

"You Lack Originality"

But the bullet i did bite or the post i did write was the one of new life