Blah, blank empty call it what u wana

Call it mental health call it society call it thiers no more left in me call it sadness call it weakness call it my own dissapointment call it vauge, call me bare and empty tell me i threw in the towel to early tell me a bible verese lift me up some how tell me if i can just reach out a lil more tell me if i just hold on a lil tell me that its all worth it tell me it was all meaning full, tell me this isnt the end of the road tell me thiers more than just my pain somebody god some body please tell me that it all wasnt invane tell me its all a part of his plan, tell me it was something i had to go through, tell me that in the end it will make me a better person.Tell me that when i wake ill realise it was all just a dream tell me it was just a nightmare tell me that im not stuck here call it what u wana but dont stop calling me, just try reaching out to me, god i beg u DONT GIVE UP on me,
somebody just call it what it is, ignorance, adolecent mistake now a habbit thats become part of the routine, always asking god y me, i didnt see it creep up on me and latch on tightly TELL me the exact moment it happened were i lost my self i thought i was strong enough to make it outa this hell,
An ADDICT can not fight this a battle all alone, especialy when thier is only one side, thier $ that green, yes green green paperback the root of all evil as they say or the root of evil better said either way ive bin here way to long stagnet first unaware then i began to watch the yrs tick n tock rite past me, but ik its never to late this is not the way my story will end, im still worth fighting for, im still worth picking up off the floor, i.k That these pieces that are left are still able to be put back together all they need is a lil bit of tending to iknow, i know but call it what you wana call it but the truth is thiers an ISSUE an epidemic our streets and city are being modernized meanwhile thousands of lives are being destroyed no one is paying any mind to perisites slanging that death to our auntys, brothers, sisters, nephews nieces to those that used to have great dreams of being somebody, i used to be that sumbody on my way to a good paying civil service job, but now im just barley able to function just enough to keep face, i used to have a filled life so somebody please just call attention to, somebody scream out stand with me and say rehab reform, education reform, we need better rehabilitation system no more waisting gov funds on pointless organization like UNICEF the ownsers of that program 'call 211' or other "Call us today we will help u programs" these so called NONE profits all they do is add to the problem, becuz all they do is refer u to another place u can call but not one place ive called has said yes come in today we have the help u need a bed for rehabilitation and the education to teach u how to stay clean.....not one rehab or organization says yes let us get u started on the right track to healing ur diseas all they say is "name please, what TYPE OF INSURANCE DO U HAVE, is ur rehab being court ordered, well who refered u to our program we need to know so we can get that tax credit was it the court (NO) was it another pointless program like the local county welfare office GROW program (HELL NO ) and since its always a no on my part they say we dont have a bed for U to day call and check every day for the next 3 months tobprove to us how much u realyvare dedicated to getting clean, OXYMORON if we were then we wouldnt need a rehab HELLO, wake up smell the coffee isnt thiervsomething wrong with these lame chain of command procedures so sorry no rehab for u today call back in 30days click...D.I.A.L.T.O.N.E

So on n on i went through the yrs turning into someone i dont even reconize anymore when i look in the mirror, Im just a shell if a woman/man, broken torn left for worn, alone in this struggle, time n time again i know i made the decision that brought me to this end, i pushed everyone away friends n lovers came N went each time i chose this instead of them and now i hope its not too late i know i dd it to my self and thats the sad truth that i have to live with but i still DESERVE Redemption, but barley now i realize that it was all my fault, i.k i cant give up on my self i must find that part of me. i CAN still be put back together piece by piece as long as thiers still someone out thier with that unconditional type of love with that that pick u upboutta the gutter type of love drag me out from what im under type of love that love that hasb enough wormth to wrap me up in, to hold me when ive fallen type of love ro correct me when ive given in type of love to cradle me when ive fallen type of love someone who knows when to reach out i n save me when i not fighting for my self type of love..
Practice run poem the next one will make more sense
P.s thiers no category for this cause im just writing it bcuz it needsbto be said somebodybplease call your locall congressmen or WOMAN and scream Rehabilatation reform, we need a system that gets results not this pointless waist of gov funds or funds in general, hack of a sytem no more referals just beds for those who wantbto get up and outa the hold the vice (DRUG,ALCOHOL ETC) has on them

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