I find myself sipping bitter coffee
In the same shop I sat in
In a different season
In a different state of mind.
Because, as the chairs in here rearranged themselves,
As sippers came and went,
I trespassed comforts.
I called a new place home -
In the arms of a boy here
And in the center of a plan there.
That terrified me.
I still sipped coffee, please do not worry-
But now while I was on my way to learn each early morning.
I still sipped coffee, but once too often to slow tears
And still quivering lips
Because I was letting go of so much
And grasping onto new.
I do not think the same,
I love more intensely
And try to doubt it less.
I let go of all I had known
And abandoned comfort
In a tremendous effort to flourish.
I promise, I am flourishing,
Some days more than others.
Yet, I am not sure whether
To be proud of the growth
Or nostalgic for all that once was...
Because lots left.
But while the wounds were deep,
And what rooted I have found to love.
So I sit in the same shop
I sat in when my world was small and I was naive.
My chapped lips form a smile
Around the bitter coffee
I have found to love,
Or at least become accustomed to.
Because as I watch the chairs in here
I realize I have indeed found new places, too
All while sipping coffee that was exactly the same.