I don’t know when it all started.
And I didn’t know it started with a lie.
But what I do know,
Is that my best friend, Ana, controls my life.

I know it’s crazy, but I didn’t choose Ana.
She chose me.
And you may not be able to see or hear her,
But she’s very real to me.

She’s the voice in my head that tells me
I need to be thin.
She’s the one who helps me reach my goal.
The one who’s going to help me win.

Every day when I look in the mirror
I hate what I see,
And Ana’s in my mind
Telling me what I’ll never be.

I need to get thinner; I need Ana’s approval.
Tips and tricks consume my life.
And it takes everything in me
To sit down and try eat tonight.

Day by day
The Calories get smaller and smaller.
And before I know it
I’m trying to live off of only water

I don’t understand.
How could one thought get so out of control?
All I wanted was for people to like me,
But now, I feel all alone.

My life has turned into
Darkness and pain,
I never expected things
To turn out this way.

But wait a minute.
That’s not me.
That’s more of who
I used to be.

Ana doesn’t control me anymore.
There’s no more pain or shame.
And I have found forgiveness and grace
In the arms of the One Who loves me
With a love big enough to conquer the grave.

Now I see myself as a beautiful,
priceless daughter of the Most High King.
I have been transformed by the blood of His Son.
And I wouldn’t trade my healing and freedom for anything.