I can no longer love you for you have been most cruel to me. I place my heart, my dreams in your arms and you dismantled them brutally. It's not like me to trust so stupidly knowing where misplaced trust leads usually. I believed in you, the whole time you were using me. I used to dream of you, you were my soul. You deserted me when I needed you. I guess I never needed you. You were a needle in my spirit and my soul was slowly seeping through. Now I run day and night to a new future but truly I'm fleeing you. I hate you with all of my heart. Not a part of me rests without feeling hatred towards you. Im drifting now. Towards a different vision now but my vision now is filled with crimson clouds. They shimmer in and out as the whispers turn to hissing howls. So lonely. Im only me in the absence of you. I dont know who I am. Its okay this hatred to shall pass like past storms on windswept plains only slight distant reminders remain. This pain is something new so I embrace it. As the tears have turned to hatred so shall I turn tormented by the ages and wages of past sins in stages of grasping at something that never existed. A fine line between truth and lies, yet I realize where the truth does hide. Deep inside of me is a secret. A secret so secret that I have not even heard it revealed to me in a clear pattern of speech or perhaps a wayward though that passes. This secret is the essence of me yet until I reflect on be it will never be. So I will never be. Before it was me but since you've deserted me I've been searching for me. All that remains is a portion of me. My love we were so together you were the portion of me that made me exist now we break free and I cease to resist. Reality is cold and cruel. Life is rainy days with no sunshine to brighten the grey. I love still my love. My former love. I still love with a passion. The type of love that conquers pain and becomes a phoniex that rises again from the ashes and broken past slashes of pain that jab at the sane. Im no longer sane. I laugh at random times, and speak rambling rhymes which seem like magic to dive off my tounge and jump into traffic then disappear as moving objects smash then. Thats why I'm laughing. I smile at the sky even when it rain and sometimes I see blue speckles that lighten my pain and I think. Oh..... I wish I could be there with you my lovely blue sky and creamy white clouds. I wish I could float where that wind blows and coast as the winds go, screaming into storms. When the morning comes and the sun rises I stare into it bright eyes and tell it. My new love, You are today. I will not waste you for soon you shall be a witness for or against me. Thank you for rising sun and thank you creator for creating a sun that rises. And when I set my eyes over flow with crimson tears for what I held dear has left me and the next is not promised. Oh moon, I pray that in your fullness good comes to this world. It is in pain my new love. People are lost, drifting, dying in masses with no hope for tomorrow let alone the present. This world is crying. Most have forgotten. What if I fall among them so close am I to them.
Yet I still believe.
I believe in my lord who is perfect, in whose words I find solace, in whose thought I find comfort. I believe in you my lord, my only love, my forever. I believe in you and your pure-ness, in your Angels, In your Books, In your Prophets pbu them. I believe in what comes after this world of the next of what has been revealed, and the Good and Bad of the inevitable grave. I believe in your Decree. No knowledge do I confess of having of anything beyond what you have revealed. I find comfort in the thought that even though my worship and praise of your sanctified holiness is ever incomplete and unacceptable by all mean, that the heavens and earth and all that exist for eternity sings your praise.
Praise be to the one who has created me and giving me life and love and food and clothes and so many things I have not that comprehension to count. Glory be to the only King, the Majestic and onimpetent Ruler, the Just, the All Knowing The All Powerful. I submit to the Lord of all the worlds.