Behind Closed Doors

He tells me im always going to

Belong to him and only him and doesn't

care if i moved on he's going to kill him

I shed tears on my pillow trying to come up

with a way to get away from him

I loved this man at a one point in my life now 

I can't stand him

 

I spent 4 and half years of my life

thinking he was the one for me

Now i feel numb but empty

he makes me do things i don't want to

When it comes to sex

he threatens me to kill me or cause me bodily harm

by taking it from me

I don't understand 

why he's hurting me

 

Everytime he comes around we seem like the perfect match

almost like we understood each other 

but it was never like that

I'm always uncomfortable and afraid speaking

my mind gotten me yelled me at everyday

Talking down on me was his specialty 

When it came to me excelling in school

He made me feel worthless but stupid as if no one

would want me

 

Got me questioning myself as if something was

truly wrong with me

Like am I ugly?

What's wrong with having a brain?

This is not the man I love he is insane

 

He claims to love me but i'm constantly hurting

he promised to love me and give me the world

honestly he's like night and day one minute were arguing

then he's begging me to stay

Just when i thought i could relax and be free

He constantly calling me

Threatening to harm me

 

Being trapped in his twisted mind 

giving him more valuable time

Do i give him what he wants by giving into his sexual needs

even if it makes me feel dirty

or keep running from his madness

Hoping for an ending

This poem is about: 
Me

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