6.

That is the age I was when I was called "ugly" for the first time

I had never felt a sting like that before,

I had been bitten by bugs or felt the burn of alcohol on a fresh new wond,

but this pain was new - 

going down the slide, I wasn't the only form of water that gravity had pulled down.

8.

I was called "fat" for the first time.

Well,

it wasn't the first time. But for some reason this time it hurt -

being called "fat" was no longer just a word to describe someone as -

it was now an insult, a burden.

10.

I was told that I looked like a man due to growing body hair and a little bit more than the "average" peach fuzz that grew on girls faces.

Since when was not being able to control how my body's hormones react my fault?

12. 

I started to give any man who called me pretty my attention.

Because when the world is so cold sometimes you can't help but getting too close to hot things, wanting to get burned even though you know it'll hurt you just so you can feel something

13.

"Have you lost weight!? YOU LOOK AMAZING"

It wasn't too hard to lose weight. It just took 3 hours of hard working out

and about 60 calories at most going into my system a day

with a hint of hating myself

But that doesn't matter, I was finally beautiful

15

"It's great that you love your curves and all... but you looked so much prettier when you had a flat stomach!" 

Because we were taught that in womens fashion, less is sometimes more

but what they didn't tell us is that less fat doesn't automatically mean more happieness. 

17

pain is beauty, and it's like a drug

and even though I try to quit

I always seem to go right back to it

when will the size of my pants reflect things other than my beauty?