I never wanted to see it

Deteriorated faces that pass all around

Looking past me at what their lifeless black orbs could not find

 

I never wanted to acknowledge it, to accept it

To stare at it straight on like it's the only thing there to view

And pretend as if I'm not afraid of it

 

I never asked to be apart of it

To become just another weary face added to the collection

Another mannequin on display that is overlooked and invisible

Blank face, empty porcelain hide, cavernous eyes filled with less emotion than the merciless void of a black hole 

 

I thought I was rescued from the sea of misery occasionally, but it always ended up a mirage

And on the off chance an opportunity of escape arose, it tended to end worse than where I escaped from

Plucked like a tragic lost treasure from the bottom of the ocean, only to drown on the shore

Sweet vertigo

Lungs never felt so heavy

That I may not breathe happiness

Hearts never lay so still

So that I may not beat cruelty

Eyes never shone so dull

That the pure liquid of their own tears would not take the effort to reflect them 

Empty life boats collide with the floating debris of people lost in "the flow"

Tarnished specimens

The definition of hopeless

 

Are you awash or afloat?

Because when awash, the banks fill tirelessly until all in it sink in the muddy pits

Because when afloat, the waves seek vengeance on the creatures who have explored the troves of the land

 

Are you awash or afloat?

Because both end where light cannot reach to end the nightmare and banish the monsters

No one is more dead unless rebirth threatens to repeat their torturous existence 

 

Are you awash or afloat?

Because last time I checked, my veins bleed at the hands of words, black letters dancing along white horizons and my heart beat is fueled by my thoughts that scream out for a  life that will not push me under the surface

 

I grab my pen, my life preserver, and hash out the remainder of my life so that I may never have to ask myself again

Are you awash or afloat?