The magnitude of it is earth shattering; mind altering. There’s a war inside myself and both sides are losing. I feel the sharp pangs and prods of death and destruction every time I see you. Or her. Or them. The words climb their way into my mind and try to force their way down my throat to escape and reveal themselves to you. But I push. I push them back where they belong into the war-torn village of my insides. Because. If they were to get out, you’d all see the mania of my thoughts and turn your heads toward each other and speak without talking, asking each other “What should we do with her?” You’d pay attention.