Ask Me How

Ask me how I hide behind a curtain,

I could tell you about the time I spent in a closet

About how I was so far deep even I didn't know I was there for a while

It's a great place to be when you're five and playing hide-and-seek

Not so much when you're fifteen and struggling to fit in

And when I finally emerged and embraced it

I was met with more backlash than I'd hoped

And honestly once you open the door you can't go back

No matter how much you try to

Because everyone knows that hiding spot now

And that's the first place they look for you.

 

Ask me how I hide behind a curtain,

I could tell you about the time I spent wearing a mask

How I learned that those masks in the theatre make good disguises

Comedy and tragedy

Believe me, when you are the tragedy mask you can wear the comedy mask

But fake smiles only get you so far when your true feelings shine in the tears you refuse to let fall

And when your heart is as broken as your home

And when everyone is telling you that you're the man of the house now

And nobody listens when you scream that you're only thirteen and why the fuck are you the one having to bear the burden

So you have to grow up faster than you're supposed to

And face the consequences if you don't.

 

Ask me how I hide behind a curtain,

I could tell you about the time I spent building walls around myself

Hoping nobody would try to find a way around them

Because when you lose friends as fast as I did

You learn to stop making them altogether

Because it's easier to shut people out

And pretend to be cold and heartless

Than to let people into your life only to watch them leave

And you learn to deal with the pain of loneliness

Because maybe some people stayed while you were building the walls

And still see you for who you really are

And you're lucky for them

Because they know you and choose to stay anyway

And you hold onto them for dear life

While everyone outside the wall wonders how they got in

Or wonders why they remain in what looks like a prison.

 

Ask me how I hide behind a curtain,

And I'll tell you that I never really did

I chose to hide behind everything else

Because I was fragile and broken and scared

And I needed more than just a flimsy piece of fabric to shield myself with.

Comments

Stormie Shadle

Truly amazing. I loved every bit of your poem. You have a great way with words. I am sorry you had to hide for so long. I am sorry if you are still hiding. I too hide for my own reasons. You will see what mine are in my poem, "The True Me?" if you want to read it. Although my reasons are nothing compared to yours. Stay strong and you will carry on.

NorthernDownpour

I wish you luck. Your words are very powerful. The speak for your strength. Continue to write. You have a gift.

sophinissler23

This is absolutely amazing!!!!!

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