Where was I a year ago?

In a place I could not seem to let go.

 With a person I could not learn to unlove

with a body I couldn't stand to touch.

 

January was colder than I've ever been before

The lack of affection penetrated to my core

February a blur of fading memory and grey

March I forgot where I was, and my own name

April brought showers, but of tears not of rain

May my life was saved by my teacher, again

June we moved out, went separate ways

I began to feel stronger, but was still apt to fade

July I stormed away, said it's over for good.

August brought such loneliness and should, would, could

September they cut me open, and I was gone for six weeks

November in pieces, but I rose in one piece

December I felt the light shine once more on my face

January I am back in my God's sweet embrace 

 

And here, I stand in reflection and thought

of the monsters I found, faced, and fought.

Never has a year transformed me or sent me

to depths so low 

or highs experienced so sweetly.

Give me the strength to seek not on my own

but in the grace of your love and the mercy you've shown.