Drained and deranged,

I dreamed I could build beauty.

Blueprinted, diagrammed

Just a god in a cage.

 

I mapped out the gestures

And the wisecracks,

And the manners,

But science and splendor don’t mix.

 

During construction, I let a beam drop,

Seems my pride came along,

Lost myself in the jester’s eyes

Of a strange passer-by.

 

Strewn are sketches of men who

Enliven the insomniac quiet,

But mine is the soul and the silence

That softens the jagged dusk.

 

Maybe I once wished on watches

For a learned life of lust,

But all I needed was a wistful ear

And a vagabond’s forgiveness.

 

So I’ll meticulously shred

These plans to staggered squares

Flaunt the mosaic failure in the window

Like a flag, surrender stained in every crevice.

 

This is cheating on perfection.

This is falling away with faith.

All for the smile

Of a strange passer-by.