Another one hit after such a long time. 

     my boyfriend being on the phone with me helped but, I didn't 

want him to see me like that.

Nothing he could say or do to truly help me.

     we both felt powerless. He couldn't hold my hand, or rub my back,

thankfully we were on video chat but, I took out my headphones.

to deduct some of the noise and get a grip of something I was feeling.

uneXplainably, I find my chest heavy. 

     my heart, at least 100 beats a minutes for eight minutes in.

rocking subtly and taking deep breaths with my eyes closed.

Inhaling slowly, i find myself,

Exhaling heavily, i start to regroup.

Trying to communicate with my boyfriend that...

     my energy has been sucked from my lungs so effortless.

You see me. 

      yet learnung is effective for us both, as teaching is just as important.